Friday, September 16, 2011

Shit Happens. . .

It's been a week since that shit happened to me.

A shock that killed me to hell. A state that almost put me into death. And a place that made me suffer, sick and miserable. Everybody knew what happened that night except me. I'm lost. I'm wasted. Everybody's having fun at me, and I can't do anything about it. I'm just trying to enjoy the night but it ended the other way around. (But yeah I enjoyed the night) I was drinking, dancing and mingling with friends and some other acquaintances. I was trying to savor up the drinks, the place and the whole party itself. All I want that night is to have fun. To loosen up all the stress in school and in life. But the real question was, WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO ME? I was blind sided of what happened that night. I was trying to recall all the things I've done but unfortunately I can't remember anything. As in real, I can't remember any thing! The last thing I remember was I was inside the comfort room and that's it. BOOM! It all went out like a dream. 

What happened that night was so strange. As in pala-isipan na sa akin kung ano ang mga nangyari after that scene. Di ko alam kung ano na ang nangyari. Sunday, 2 o'clock in the afternoon, I woke up lying on my bed inverted. "Tang ina" I told to my self. "Anong nangyare?" Paano ako nakauwi? Anong oras ako nakauwi? Sino naghatid sa akin? Sino nagbihis sa akin? Bakit ako andito? - the questions I asked to myself right after I woke up. The only thing I felt that time was my head feeling like it's breaking into pieces. Parang may heartbeat ang ulo ko sa sakit. Nahihilo na ako that time, nasusuka. Gusto kong umiyak pero wala naman ako magagawa. I was left home alone, walang kasama, ako lang mag-isa. I  turned on the TV. Asked again my self, WHAT HAPPENED? Tang ina. I can't fully express my feelings. Nababadtrip ako, na nalulungkot, na natatawa, at nahihiya. Sobrang wasak. Sobrang fail! One thing I assured myself, NAGKALAT ako! And it's not the usual me. Ako pa, sobrang okay ako. Walang masyadong problema sa buhay, love life lang. Pero para magkalat ng sobra, THAT's NOT ME. Pero what happened? Ano ang nangyari sa akin? Bakit ganon. I lost control. I lost discipline. I lost my self. And now, I almost lost my dignity and pride. Parang wala na akong mukang maipagmamalaki sa mga tao. I really can't believe that it'll happen to me. Of all people, WHY ME?


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